This is Microsoft in all it's glory

I know its been a while since I made a blog post, but I finally found the perfect subject. I never thought Microsoft could get so stupid, but believe me, this is all real and it happened about ten minutes ago.

If there is one gaming series I have always loved, its been the AOE series - better known as the Age Of Empires Series. Undoubtably, the second generation (Age of Kings, followed by the expansion The Conquerers) is my favourite one and while the third one is excellent, nothing will beat the second.

So, when I discovered about a year back that a new AOE title was soon to be released, I got really excited. I figured, 'why not look at some screenshots of the work-in-progress'?

Sadly however, I couldnt be more disappointed. Firstly, what I saw were cartoon greek hoplites attacking Egyptian spearmen. AOE has ALWAYS been about realism, so why all the cartoon stuff? I was further disappointed when I discovered that Gas Powered Games were creating it. GPG made Dungeon Siege, another of my all time favourite series. Ever since GPG sold off the DS franchise to Obsidian, they really karked it in terms of quality.

But, I persisted, thinking it might be okay. More wrong thinking on my side.

The game itself only comes with two civ's: The Greeks and the Egyptians. In order to get more civ's, the user must PURCHASE the extra civ's (Such as the celts) with REAL LIFE MONEY.

Screw that.

I was not prepared on any level whatsoever to buy a game that gives you barely anything and expects you to pay further money in order play as other civ's. AOE2 was good in that it gave you everything right from the beginning - why hold back?

At about this point, I decided that I wasnt going to buy the game, even though JB-HiFi listed it as a meager $20. About the same as AOE2 is selling for at the moment.

So, low and behold, I'm casually browsing Steam today and I discover AOE Online for free. My initial thoughts? 'Alright, it looks stupid, but its free. I might as well try it'. So, I get to downloading it. The final size is about 2GB, which I was happy with. When its done, it happy loads the launcher and starts the game. The music plays and I think, yea, this could be the AOE series I knew and loved.

Two options appear, "Start" and "Live". Live obviously stood for online play, based on what I had read previously. I press Start and the Games for Windows Live (GWL) screen appears (Oh please no).

It wants me to sign in. Well, luckily, I have a GWL ID so I sign in.

Then it asks for a CD Key.

WHAT THE HELL!!!

This game came FREE on Steam. Why on earth would I need a CD Key? I alt-tab to steam and look around for one - there isnt one.

So, I go online and search it up. As it turns out, about 500 other people also have this problem. Eventually, a forum moderator made a post saying that in order to fix the problem, I had to 'buy' the game off the GWL website. The GWL website lists it as free as well, so I think: 'Sure, okay... minor oversight'. I go to GWL, sign in and browse for the game. Sure enough, its there.

I click purchase on the game, and it says okay, tells me how much will be deducted (Nothing, since its a free game) and a few other pointless details. The next step is Billing Information.

As soon as I press that, I am whisked away to another screen, wanting to verify the purchase. It's apparently sent an email to sirphilp@hotmail.com with the code. Not only do I NOT remember having an account like this, there's nothing in my folder of passwords that tells me that the account ever existed (I have a folder with all my usernames, passwords and backup details in it that goes back about ten years. Don't bother looking, you'll never find it).

So I think, okay, a minor glitch in my folder. I go onto hotmail.com and type in sirphilp@hotmail.com. Hotmail comes back to me and says the email address doesnt exist...

DOESNT... EXIST...

Big oversight here Microsoft...

Thinking its another glitch on my email (Apple would never do this - yes, I said it), I go onto my email and check my recovery accounts page. Sure enough, sirphilp@hotmail.com is there. So I press delete.

The confirmation message says that it will take ONE WHOLE MONTH in order to delete this single line of information.

ONE WHOLE MONTH.

Well screw that. I go back to the recovery accounts page and put in my newer email address - dowdeswell.iv@outlook.com (Just in case you didnt know, this is my new email address). Guess what! It's going to take ONE WHOLE MONTH to get that one line of data added.

ONE WHOLE MONTH FOR ONE LINE OF DATA.

In Conclusion

In order to play AOE Online, I must wait one month for my email addresses to link as recovery accounts and then be able to get the code to verify my account as being allowed to purchase, and THEN be able to get the CD-Key to play a game THAT IS FREE.

I would have thought that Microsoft would have loved to make money off the DLC for this game when everyone was able to play it for free. But I'm certain that nobody in their sane state of mind would willingly get a game, only to have to wait a whole month in order to play it. This is Microsft in all its shining glory...

Not worth it Microsoft...

Not worth it at all...

AOE Online - deleted...

The logic of installing XP

So right now I am reinstalling the operating system on my Auntie's computer. Despite the fact that not only did she lose the operating system disk, I also cant access the directory "my computer". Never mind, a challenge is a challenge. The following questions it asked me certainly made me laugh a little inside.

Which drive do you want to install Microsoft Windows XP on?

A: C:\

B: Cancel

"C:\" was my option...

Which partition of C:\ do you want to install Microsoft Windows XP on?

A: C:\ "1 bazzillion bytes used. 0.5 bazzillion bytes free

B: C:\ "7 MB free"

Obviously, I picked the one with a bazzillion bytes of space...

Warning! Setup has detected another operating system already installed on this disk! Installing another operating system runs a high risk of damaging the already installed operating systems/s. Are you sure you want to continue?

A: Yes, continue installing

B: Quit.

Considering how I was INTENDING to overwrite the operating system anyway, I continued with yes.

Would you like to reconfigure the drive to use the NTFS file system? Warning! This will erase everything currently installed on the harddrive!

A: Format the harddrive with NTFS (Quick)

B: Format the harddrive with NTFS

C: Do not format the harddrive.

I picked B. I have the time to go through a good long format.

And that's how the viruses were all destroyed. It feels good to watch them as the card writer overwrites them with nothing, sending them to the depths of oblivion...

A bunch of stuff - Plus some plans

I figured I should probably write something up here again now. After all, its been something like four weeks since I told everyone that I had to go, my enemies must be defeated...

So, there's a bunch of new developments in Life and the Universe...

NOVEMBER SIXTH - 2012

That's right. That's a very important date. Want to know WHY its an important date? BECAUSE I SAID SO YOU TWAT. HALO 4 is realeased on this date, which basically means that I will be disconnected from everything else until I use up every bullet I can from sunrise till sundown over the course of several days. I'm really excited for this and hey, if anyone wants to buy it for me, I'll happily show you a video of me kicking Covenant and Forerunner butt right back to the core of Requeim.

Fire Lord Philip

 

Well... Thats what they call me now on Facebook. Okay, want the story? It's simple. There was a bunch of wood and there was some petrol. I couldnt help myself. I'm actually smiling at the camera in this shot, but the focus makes it too hard to see my face. You have no idea just how much I love this photo...

In other news, I've recently... uhhh... "acquired" the full version of a game called Kerbal Space Program.

In the most basic sense, you design a spacecraft, launch it, controll it, attempt to get into outer space and ultimately, land on the moon. (Or if your really ambitious, try and land on one of the further out planets. Not that easy actually! So far I have no issues with getting into space... There is however... ONE problem. By the time I AM in space... I have no more fuel. But soon that will all change!

 "High Monster", as I have called this wonderful craft above, is basically one giant container of fuel attached to multiple rockets. As the rocket goes into the atmosphere, it breaks off empty fuel containers, thus becoming lighter and faster. The biggest problem that I currently have? Same as the others. I hit space, got no more fuel...

Kerbal Space Program uses what's called "Stages" to get a rocket into space. Generally speaking, every time you advance in a stage (Which you determine), you break off bits of your rocket that you dont need anymore. The idea is that you stagger each layer of fuel usage to the jets, and also use jets in different stages to achieve the maximum effectiveness of liftoff. Coming down is a matter of remembering to use the parachute. (Or if your really skilled, land on the runway...

 I always get a good feeling when I see my spacecraft lift off. Although it becomes quite clear that the game doesnt exactly have the most stunning graphics, the gameplay is quite good, especially with lift off. Seeing all that exhaust hitting the ground as you rise majestically into the air is quite good. Unless of course your designing is quite poor, in which case you come crashing back down to the ground in what can be quite a stunning explosion.

 And then, seeing the planet below while you achieve orbit? Always a good feeling. It's interesting to see here that most of the time, I shut my engines off. The speed at which I have left the planet easily makes up for any chance of a decaying orbit. Infact, in order to correctly get to the moon, I very often have to make adjustments. The game is quite realistic in this respect.

This ship I designed, named Space Born 1, runs fairly smoothly... Well, along the runway. So far no craft I have created is capable of lifting up off the runway, despite having a speed of over 180 meters per second. I think this might be an oversight of the developers. Either that, or I am a sucky pilot...

Overall rating? 8/10

There's a few things about the game that annoy me. You cant exactly fly plane in the atmosphere because the controls are too heavy (Too hard) and you almost always end up crashing back down onto the surface.

Secondly, I have so far found it impossible to make a successful launch on the provided runway. Either it is too short or it's just a severe oversight. Still, the explosions of failure are always spectacular.

BUT, the game is very fun - and a bit addictive. There's that push to design the perfect spacecraft, adjusting bits here and there, trying to make it as easy as possible to get into space. I once saw a video on youtube where someone successfully put a spacestation (Custom content, not included) into orbit around the planet, and THAT was impressive!

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And finally, a simple phrase for a special someone who knows who they are. Perhaps they would like to attempt to decipher this message...

Plans are being made, oh dear one.

Many plans, both small and large.

And the time for enactment is nearly upon you.

So wake up. Wake up and face the task at hand....

MUA HA HA HA HA